Relationship and Marriage Counselling
Successfully helping couples to improve communication and re-connect.
Marriage and relationship therapy specialist.
Paul Allenby offers professional,
friendly and practical marriage and relationship counselling that effectively helps couples to re-connect with each other and improve communication.
When we work together you will learn to hear each other, empathise and understand each other.
The approach is both personal and bespoke to each couples needs.
Paul offers relationship therapy that aims to help couples focus on a practical and positive way forward.
With a unique approach to marriage and relationship counselling Paul aims to help his couples identify where the relationship is stuck and work on ways to focus on creating a more sound and relationship together.
Marriage and relationship counselling that gets results.
The therapy is based on the Gottman Method of couples therapy where right from the very first session, couples are helped to focus on establishing the needs of the relationship and without portioning blame why the difficulties are present, we set about working together to re-build those areas.
Our sessions together are designed to get results and results are what Paul helps his clients achieve.
Paul provides therapy sessions that are free from conflict - Paul does not allow his sessions to turn in to finger pointing between his couples - right from the very first session couples experience the benefit of being able to communicate without any form of conflict.
Paul Allenby is an experienced couples therapist with 23+ years experience.
Paul has been providing private marriage and relationship counselling since 1999 and has helped over 1000 couples re-connect, improve communication and focus on their joint needs..
So many of Paul’s clients have experienced unsuccessful attempts at couples therapy in the past.
The feedback he has received is that they felt the therapy didn’t work because too much emphasis was placed on the past -
marriage and relationship therapy with Paul focuses on the present and building a positive future together.
Paul is not a general therapist offering a counselling therapy for every type of problem people experience.
Paul has specialised in two main areas of therapy - marriage and relationship counselling in addition to being an expert anger management therapist.
Request a callback and talk to Paul to discuss how his friendly and personal marriage and relationship therapy can help you create positive change.
If you'd like to have a chat with Paul, fill in your details below.
He will initially contact you by text message, WattsApp or email to arrange booking a free introductory Zoom call.
This call will be to discuss your needs from therapy, how Paul's personal approach can work for you, how the therapy is delivered and of course the costs involved.
Learn how to re-connect with understanding and empathy.
You'll experience immense benefit from our practical and bespoke therapy if you...
- Feel disconnected in your relationship?
- Have stopped trying to understanding or empathise with each other’s viewpoints.
- Find it difficult to compromise and find solutions together.
- Recognise that discussions are a little strained and that difficult situations arise due to poor communication.
- Recognise that there is less friendship in your relationship and that you don't find enough time for each other.
- Have noticed that empathy and consideration towards each other is lacking?
And guess what?
Our relationship and marriage therapy sessions are bespoke to your own individual needs as a couple.
Because of the practical and forward focused nature of how our sessions work, you can start learning how to re-connect and improve communication right from the first few sessions.
Does the therapy always involve the couple having sessions together?
This is a really important question and one that’s often asked. 
Sometimes marriage and relationship therapy doesn’t involve the couple having sessions together.
- This can be because one individual in the relationship realises (or it’s established during couples sessions) it’s their ‘stuff’ that’s a major contributory factor to the difficulties experienced and wants to work through these areas.
- On other occasions one party wants to talk through the difficulties the relationship is experiencing to get better understanding, clarity amd guidance on practical ways forward.
- And there have been many occasions where one partner refuses to attend therapy sessions but joins in the process when they see the benefits their partner has achieved from individual sessions.
Bespoke therapy that’s available to meet your needs.
Whether you attend for joint couples sessions or wish to have your own individual session, Paul’s bespoke approach can have a positive impact.
Sometimes, at the start of therapy it can be clear that there is just not enough fuel in the emotional tank for couples to open up and be constructive with each other but still have the will and want to engage in the process.
In this instance, individual sessions may be required until Paul is able to build enough understanding and momentum. With some couples, Paul has achieved great results working this way when needed.
So … not one approach fits all then?
Absolutely not and that’s why Paul describes his therapeutic approach as bespoke. He is able to adapt his vast experience to achieve the best results to meet his clients needs.
Paul is always happy to talk to you individually or as a couple to discuss the approach that will best meet your needs for desired and sustainable outcomes.
Would you like to have an informal chat with Paul to discuss how relationship therapy that helps improve communication and re-build connection can have a positive impact for you?
If you'd like to discuss with Paul how the therapy works and how it can have a positive impact for you, please fill in the form below to request a callback.
As soon as he receives your message, Paul will make contact with you via text, WattsApp or email to arrange a free introductory call.
Paul likes to make sure your initial contact can be as personal as possible so he likes to have this initial chat a face to face call with Zoom.
Hear what others have to say about their therapy.
“Our experience with Paul was great. His relaxed nature and friendly approach helped us through this difficult time in our relationship and thankfully we are still together - and happy.”
G & M Watford
“Our communication was very poor. Paul helped us to change this and now we are able to discuss matters with the inevitable argument!”
M & P Knebworth
“We learned so much about each other during our sessions and this helped us to become closer - and to think we were thinking of separating.”
A & C Stevenage
“Paul's help has been invaluable. He has helped us to consider each other more and be more mindful of each others needs.”
M & A Stotfold
Couples therapy that focuses on the present and the future without needlessly dwelling on the past.
A tried and tested approach - how we create change.
In your first session I will listen to each of you and together we will discover the challenges you are facing, briefly how you got to where you are and what kind of relationship you want for the future.
Paul guarantees you that this these discussions will not cause any conflict or disagreements because he is immensely skilled in guiding these discussions to create positive sentiment and understanding.
In this very first session we will collaboratively work together to create a plan for change - here you will get a full understanding of what it means to create a sound relationship based on trust and commitment.
Focusing on the hear and now without needlessly dwelling on the past.
It’s understandable when people start therapy that they want to see change as quickly as possible and you can be sure that we will hit the road running right from your very first session.
While it’s important to get some background of your past, we will only do this to identify how certain events or ongoing communication styles affect the present.
Trust Paul when he says that talking about the past keeps you stuck in the past - focus on the present and the future and the eyes widen and the willingness to work together for change increases.
In our first few sessions we will move quickly to establish what’s stopping you having a sound and content relationship together - all without negative sentiment or portioning blame - and then work on strategies on how you can achieve your individual and joint hopes.
We will discover both the individual and joint strengths of the relationship and identify any self-defeating patterns of behaviour … whilst keeping focused on the goal of developing a sound relationship.
A 3 way collaboration for change.
Paul describes his approach to marriage and relationship therapy as a 3 way collaboration - he provides therapy with a friendly, welcoming and professional approach and will work with you tirelessly to get the best out of you both to facilitate change.
No matter what you’re experiencing as a couple, Paul wants you to know that he offers a personal, non-judgemental and open approach to help you both:
- re-connect
- be in better in tune with each other’s day to day world
- be considerate to each other’s needs
- developing the willingness to turn towards each other more
- improve your communication together
- develop a shared meaning together
The ultimate goal of the sound relationship method.
When we successfully achieve the above aims you effectively:
- build emotional trust
- and strengthen your commitment to each other
Building these foundations together, (initially with Paul’s guidance and then with just the two of you) you will have created the sound relationship we talk about and you will have developed the tools to sustain the relationship you both desire:
- with improved empathy towards each other
- improved communication
- a better understanding of each other’s needs
- sharing the emotional responsibility your relationship needs
So … our therapy doesn’t just talk about the reasons your relationship needs help …
If you’re both committed to working on your relationship, you can be helped step by step to develop sustainable and meaningful change.
Would you like to have an informal chat with Paul to better understand how his private therapy can help you?
Start today for a better tomorrow.
If you'd like to discuss with Paul how the therapy works and how it can have a positive impact for you, please fill in the form below to request a callback.
As soon as he receives your message, Paul will make contact with you via text, WattsApp or email to arrange a free introductory call.
Paul likes to make sure your initial contact can be as personal as possible so he likes to have this initial chat a face to face call with Zoom.
- You can benefit from Paul's 23 years experience as a private therapist
who specialises in practical anger management therapy and marriage and relationship counselling.
- We don't just talk about the problematic areas in your life ... we will work together to do something about them and develop positive ways forward.
- Appointments available days, evenings and weekends - 7 days a week.
- Therapy that works in the present without needlessly dwelling on the past.
Enjoy an informal chat to understand how the therapy can help you.
If you'd like to discuss with Paul how the therapy works and how it can have a positive impact for you, please fill in the form below to request a callback.
Paul likes to make sure your initial contact can be as personal as possible so he likes to provide this initial chat as a face to face call with Zoom.
During this free introductory call we will:
- Get to know each other a little with an informal and laid back chat.
- Discuss in detail what you are seeking therapy for.
- Help you get a clear understanding how the personal and bespoke approach can have positive outcomes for you.
- Help you get an understanding how the therapy sessions are delivered and how you can take advantage of the flexible appointment times Paul has available.
- To discuss the fees based on your actual needs.
- Book your initial consultation if you wish to proceed.
As soon as he receives your email through the form below, Paul will make contact you via text, WattsApp or email to arrange a mutually convenient time for this informal chat.
Please include enough details in the message box below to help Paul understand what you are seeking therapy for.
Telephone: 07584 492254
Appointments available daytimes, evenings and weekends.